We're reaching the home stretch

10 months into the deployment, I have become pretty numb to the entire situation. It's not that I miss him any less, it's only that I've gotten used to the feeling. I'm starting to get excited about reuniting, but at the same time the thought of seeing him in person has become hard to imagine and thus anticipate. It's going to be so unreal.

Lately time has been passing slowly because I have been on summer break from school. I love spending long summer days with my daughter, but for some reason they don't pass as quickly as the days I have school. The new fall semester starts in 2 days, and Madison has been signed up for her ballet classes, so we both have something new and exciting to look forward to as we finish up the last few months of this deployment. Last semester I was able to finish with A's in all of my classes, and I am determined to do the same this fall semester. 

Madison had such a blast at her swim lessons this summer I knew I needed to keep her involved in something, and ballet seemed like something she'd really enjoy. Not a day passes that she doesn't ask me if we're going to her dance classes yet, and her classes don't even start until the middle of September. I already went out and bought her all the cute gear she'll need, and she's even tried them on and practiced her moves while watching "So You Think You Can Dance."She is such an extrovert and it's adorable, but I have no idea where she got that from because my husband and I are pretty introverted. 

As for me I signed myself up for Crossfit. It's been a pretty intense ride so far, and completely outside of my normal comfort zone, but I truly enjoy the challenge. Every time I walk into that Crossfit gym I have no idea if I'll be able to walk back to my car at the end of the work out without any assistance. So far I've cried once, but have yet to vomit (unlike some of my friends). 

That's basically all I've been up to lately. Nothing too wild or exciting, but I cannot wait for this summer to come to a close. Everyday is another day closer to having my family back together again. 

What was I thinking?

It's been difficult to blog lately because how hectic life has been. Since my husband left I been pretty depressed, and who wants to blog when they're depressed?

I've decided that moving back to California from Hawaii was a horrible idea. Why on earth did I leave HAWAII of all places to come back home? I think during all the stress I wasn't thinking clearly, and in no way was I aware of what moving back home truly meant for me. I have learned a valuable life lesson; never look back, only move forward. There is nothing left in my home town for me. Sure, it's nice to visit family and old friends, but honestly, what was I thinking moving back here? I miss my independence, my home, and transitioning with my child has been difficult. I can value this experience in the future when I am feeling homesick. There's a saying that my husband once told me that goes "you always miss where you've been, hate where you are, and can't wait to get to where you're going" and it's completely true.

What's done is done, and I am just join to have to stick it out. Only a few more months to go and my family will be reunited again. I will no longer have to wonder if my husband is safe where he is and that peace of mind alone is something I will treasure and never take for granted again; home is where he is.

Army Wife-ness

This has been me for the last couple days..

Why you say?

Because It's been 4.. going on five days since I've heard from my husband.

Where is he? I couldn't tell you. All I know is it's some parallel universe called Afghanistan.

I've pretty much been glued to my phone and computer for this entire weekend. I can hardly concentrate on my homework... and hardly able to finish a plate of food. This would be what we called the "crappiest part of being married to a soldier". This is not romantic at all. It's just plain stressful.

I keep wondering if the electricity is out because of bad weather. And/Or he ran out of minutes on his calling card for his wireless phone, and that he's far away from anywhere that sells more calling cards. Or that he's just plain swamped with work to do. I know my husband calls me as often as he can and that's what worries me the most. I even go as far as checking CNN and FOX news for any coverage of anything going on in his area.

Just wait.. wait.. wait..

100 Reasons Why I Love You.

1. You always can make me laugh

2. You have a beautiful smile.

3. I'm jealous of your long thick eyelashes.

4. You force me to drink milk so I don't get osteoporosis

5. You always thank me for my cooking, and tell me it's good every time. Even though I know that's impossible.

6. You always remember all the best lines from all the best movies.

7. You will eat vegetables even though you hate them, because it makes me happy.

8. You're the best at explaining things that confuse me. Such as jokes I don't get, and anything car or military related.

9. You're a mechanic so I never have to worry about car trouble.

10. You teach me new things all the time

11. I feel safe when I'm with you.

12. You're a great father and always play with Madison even when you're tired.

13. You always plug in my cell phone for me at night.

14. You always grab post cards for me when you travel around the world.

15. You'll drive home on your lunch break sometimes, because you know I get lonely being stuck at home all day.

16. I never have to tell you to take out the garbage or mow the lawn. To this day I have never had to touch the lawn mower.

17. You can tell if I have recently mopped the floors. You'll take off your boots or tip toe around and if your soldiers are with you, you force them to do the same.

18. You let me play video games with you even though I suck at the ones you like.

19. When you run errands, sometimes you take Madison with you so I can have a break.. even if it's running back to the office.

20. When you're around you always put Madison in and out of her carseat.

21. When we go to kid birthday parties, the kids always like the gifts you pick out the best.

22. Even though you hate shopping, you'll go to the mall with me and always offer to carry my shopping bags.

23. When I'm being a b*tch, you'll never call me a b*tch.

24. I love that you go all out decorating the house for Halloween and Christmas

25. If it's broken, you can probably fix it and fix it right away.

26. Whenever I buy things to hang on the walls, you always offer to put them up for me. Even though I know it's because you don't want me touching your tools.

27. You always are cleaning out the car or washing it without me having to ask you to.

28. Even on the days you're dead tired from working all day.. you'll take me out if you know I haven't been out in a while.. even if it's just to Target. And I know you hate Target.

29. You'll chase Madison around department stores while I try on clothes.

30. You're the best at BBQing.

31. You're a big kid so you remind me how to have fun.

32. You let ME sleep in most Saturdays.

33. You're the hardest worker I know.

34. You leave me love notes inside books or on my cellphone calendar. When you've been gone for a long time and I've been missing you, they bring tears to my eyes when I find them.

35. Sometimes you take forever to apologize, but you eventually do and that's all that matters.

36. When I'm decorating a cake, you knead my fondant for me because it cramps up my hands.

37. You help me clean up the kitchen after I have destroyed it making it 3 tiered wedding cake and 100 cupcakes.

38. You would let me have the last bite of whatever delicious thing you're eating if I asked. :)

39. You make the most perfect omelets I have ever seen or tasted.

40. I have many-a-time been surprised by breakfast in bed.

41. When we're watching TV you'll sit on my feet or put them your my lap and cover them with a pillow for me because they're always cold.

42. You call me sweetheart.

43. The skills you learned in boy scouts always come in handy. Like how you're aways able to fit things like air mattresses and tents into their original packaging so neatly.

44. Sometimes you help me finish all my chores like the dishes or folding laundry so you won't have to go to bed without me, and I don't have to ask you to.

45. You always remember to put the toilet seat down.

46. You'll let me wear your PT shirts to bed, even though irritates you that I take the good ones.

47. If a random stranger were to pop quiz you on all my favorite things, you'd get every answer right.

48. You feed Jasmine every day and take her out to go potty, even though you think she's the most embarrassing dog in the world. I know you secretly love that pomeranian.

49. You take such good care of us as a family.

50. You sacrifice so much for your country and us.

51. You leave out all the scary details of your job so I won't worry, even though I know there's lots.

52. You'll watch stupid shows like Army Wives and Teen Mom with me and leave your commentary to a minimum.

53. You can talk me into watching movies that I wouldn't normal ever want to watch, and I end up really liking them, like Black Hawk Down.

54. You'll stay up extra late, or wake up extra early when you're exhausted, just to talk to me over Skype when you're deployed.

55. There's no one in the world I trust more than you

56. You trust me too.

57. You would go on 3 mile walks with me when I was pregnant, so I wouldn't have to go alone.

58. You have a nice butt.

59. You call me out on my bull crap.

60. You gave believing in God a chance because you knew how much I loved Him. Now you believe too.

61. If I'm working late, you'll bring me dinner. Sometimes you'll even be the one who cooked it

62. You always encourage me to do things I'm scared to do.

63. You like my art

64. You give the best back rubs.

65. You take me running with you even though I'm super slow. You'll even push the jogging stroller.

66. You may not care about how you dress, but you care about so many more important things.

67. You're extremely ticklish and it is hilarious.

68. If I hear a noise late at night, you'll go and check on it.

69. You always bring in the groceries

70. You help out whoever you can, whenever you can. Even at other people's houses

71. You support me in whatever I want to do.

72. You treat me like your team mate, and your equal.

73. That one time you painted Madison's toe nails for her while I was napping. I loved that. Even though they looked awful. haha..

74. You call me as often as you can when you're away

75. You surprise me with flowers from time to time because you know they're my favorite.

76. You're my best friend.

77. You never give up, and you never stop trying.

78. You put your family first.

79. You look really cute in uniform. Especially class B inspection days

80. You always share all your cool stories about the people you meet and the places you go.

81. You always help me find my glasses or hairbrush.

82. Sometimes you put away the dishes without me asking.

83. When you're home I sometimes go months without ever having to fill up the gas tank.

84. You think I'm pretty even when I look horrible or just had a baby.

85. If I have a crazy knot in my amazon hair, you help me comb it out.

86. You don't care that I take over the bathroom with all my make up and hair care products.

87. You've never refused to give me a piggy back ride.

88. You try your hardest to always keep your promises.

89. When I worked graveyard and would come home super tired, you'd have the bed nice and made for me.

90. You get mad when people take advantage of me or don't treat me right.

91. You come visiting me on my breaks at work.

92. All my friends and family always love you.

93. You love me even though I am a huge brat.

94. You give me lots of attention!

95. You have the fullest most kissably soft lips.

96. No matter what happens in life, as long as your by my side, I know things will be okay.

97. When we're super old I know we'll still have lots of fun.

98. You'll let me play Taylor Swift on the radio while you're driving. At least for a little bit

99. No matter how bad the argument, you'll always come back for me.. even if I'm just in the other room crying.

100. You make it easy to think of a 100 reasons why I love you.

The Hunger Games

I started and finished the entire Hunger Games series this week. I loved it. It completely surpassed my expectations. I saw the preview for the movie, and it looked pretty cool. I decided to pick up the books thinking they'd be a little something like the Harry Potter or Twilight series. I was totally wrong. This series is more of sic-fi, thriller-ish, with a tad of boy meets girl. The series is pretty dark and violent set in a post apocalyptic world where the united states no longer exists, and the world (or what's left of it) is divided into 12 districts where once a year a boy and girl are chosen from each district to fight to the death against one another in a televised arena. The 24 children are chosen in a lottery style and only one may make it out of the arena alive to win the game. The Author was pretty gruesome when it came to killing off my most favorite characters. I will be no doubt crying when I see the movie. Some parts of the book get pretty depressing, but honestly I don't mind because given the circumstances in the book I find it more realistic and not so sappy.

I am SUPER excited for the movies to come out. I LOVE who they chose for the cast especially for Rue and Peeta. I feel like the actors are exactly what I envisioned them in the books. I've been telling my husband all about the books over Skype and he'll be here on mid tour leave around the time the movie comes out and we'll be seeing it together. Unlike Twilight, I won't have to drag him there unwilling. :)

Day Zero Project - Road Trip

I'm starting to hack away at my project list and an opportunity came up for me to go on a road trip. I decided If I was going to do a road trip it would be to somewhere I have never been before. A friend of mine recently needed to make a trip up to Washington state and I asked if Madison and I could tag along.

The trip was a 14 hour drive for us, which is pretty much the longest drive I've ever been on. I used this opportunity to start working on my "collect 100 postcards" part of the project by going in to grab a post card in a few of the towns we stopped in.

We made our way from Sacramento, through Portland Oregon, Olympia, Port Angeles, and then finally our destination; Good ol' Sequim Washington.

It was a beautiful drive, plenty of beautiful scenery, snow, trees, and a LOT of deer. Literally, we saw deer sitting in people's front yards as we drove past neighborhoods. We also hit up a few Twilight tourist attractions. Not because I'm psychotic about Twilight, but because.. well.. there aren't many tourist attractions where we were. Also on the drive up, I did get to see Mount St. Helen, which I can say looks just the way it does in the history books ;)

I now officially have "Road Trip with Friends" crossed off my list, and can say that this portion of my project was a success

Deployments Mean..

going to see movies by yourself. :(

Cost Plus World Market.

pretty much one of the coolest stores in existence to just wander around in.

That, and Pier 1 imports.

I could pretty much live at either of these stores.

Anywhoo.. Whenever I go out without Madison, all I can ever think about it Madison, and I saw these little guys at Cost Plus and all I could think was

They're on time out.

It's a blue Christmas without you..

For the most part I try to keep my blogs upbeat and less on the depressing side, but unfortunately for today, I am feeling rather blue.

I have been missing my husband a lot through the holidays. I've reached a real slump in the deployment and it's only been a little over 2 months in. The first two months I was very optimistic, and tried to stay up beat. I told myself that we've been apart for 12 months before, and we can do it again. I reminded myself about how Matt's tour in Korea went by fast. But all of a sudden everything seems to be going wrong and time has been dragging by ever.. so... slowly..

As for Matt he's doing well health and safety wise. However, he's very homesick and not at all enjoying his time in afghanistan (to be expected of course). I wish he was home so badly. I just can't seem to get into the Christmas spirit with him gone.

To cheer him up for the holidays I sent a care package with pine scented air fresheners, a mini christmas pre-lit christmas tree, a santa hat, some holiday window vinyls, and a string of outdoor lights to go on the outside of his conex (yes, they live in a conex storage containers over there). He really enjoyed his christmas care package which made me really happy. We skyped shortly after he received his package and he showed me his christmas tree all lit up and decorated with the mini star and ornaments.

I really cannot wait until next Christmas when we get to make up for this not-so-awesome one. I cannot wait for us to all be together again.

Absence makes the heart send flowers. I mean grow fonder.

Yesterday morning I got a pleasant surprise. I heard Madison calling for me down the hall and yelling "heavy mama, heavy!" I thought she had gotten a hold of my laundry basket and was dragging it down the hallway like a sleigh again, but It was actually a package for me!

My husband had ordered me a holiday arrangement of flowers! So sweet! I know some ladies prefer not to get flowers from their significant others but not I. I love Love Love it! They make my room smell nice and are one of my favorite things. I love to paint flowers, and wear jewelry with flowers and I heart floral prints.

They came right at the perfect time to cheer me up for the holidays. I've been bummed lately without my husband and I miss him dearly. I can't wait until next year when we can be together for Christmas again.

back again.

I took a long blogger vacation so let's have a gigantic recap.

Matt got deployment orders

Had to quit my job because we moved.

put all our stuff in hawaii storage Moved back to California temporarily to stay with my Dad Madison started sleeping in a toddler bed

Celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary

Madison had her Elmo themed 2nd birthday party

Had a weeklong vacation in So Cal, we went to Disneyland and Legoland

Had to say goodbye to my husband for 12 months :(

Celebrated our first thanksgiving with my new sister in law.

Convinced my dad to buy a christmas tree for the first time in 15 years.

Do you remember this book? About Prudence and her potty? I totally saw this book and grabbed it for Madison, I used to have the same book as a kid.

I have been potty training Madison this weekend. She's 20 months old and can control when she goes, but it's only a matter of her wanting to do it on the potty. I literally have gotten her the whole sha-bang, according to this book a friend referred to me. Videos, books, potty teddy bear, I got it all. There's a baggy of M&M's sitting in the bathroom and every time Madison goes potty we have a big celebration in the house (even if it's just me and her) and we both partake in some M&M's after every success. Today is day 3 and she's officially gone about 80% of the day dry and done most of her deed on the potty. Tomorrow we have a birthday party to go to so that might affect tomorrow's results. I purchased a travel potty cover for regular toilets, so wish us luck. I honestly can't wait until I don't have to change anymore diapers.

Wedding Cake

So Kayla's wedding was fabulous, and the cake came out pretty good. I tried marshmallow fondant for the first time, and it took me a few hours to get the hang of how different it was from butter cream. With butter cream fondant I usually roll it out into parchment paper, then lift the parchment paper and lay it across the cake.. it comes out perfect about 85% of the time.. Marshmallow was way different.. if I tried the parchment paper it would just stick and tear, so out the window went that idea. Here's the recipe.

• 1/4 cup butter
• 1 (16 ounce) package miniature marshmallows
• 4 tablespoons water
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 pounds confectioners' sugar, divided

Directions

1. Place the butter in a shallow bowl, and set aside
2. Place the marshmallows in a large microwave-safe bowl, and microwave on High for 30 seconds to 1 minute to start melting the marshmallows. Carefully stir the water and vanilla extract into the hot marshmallows, and stir until the mixture is smooth. Slowly beat in the confectioners' sugar, a cup at a time, until you have a sticky dough. Reserve 1 cup of powdered sugar for kneading. The dough will be very stiff.
3. Rub your hands thoroughly with butter, and begin kneading the sticky dough. As you knead, the dough will become workable and pliable. Turn the dough out onto a working surface dusted with confectioners' sugar and continue kneading until the fondant is smooth and no longer sticky to the touch, 5 to 10 minutes.
4. Form the fondant into a ball, wrap it tightly in plastic wrap, and refrigerate overnight. To use, allow the fondant to come to room temperature, and roll it out onto a flat surface dusted with confectioners' sugar

you can use Crisco instead of butter, which is what I did. I made a vanilla cream cheese frosting for the center of the cake, but used regular box red velvet for the actual cake. I crumb coated the cake with butter cream frosting only because it dries really well (unlike vanilla cream cheese) so if I have to re-lay the fondant on the cake I don't have a mess of frosting all over it.

Bridal Shower Cake

This was my latest cake I made. I was going to make it 3 tiers and taller, but it didn't work out due to lack of supplies at the grocery store and I didn't have enough time. It was a good practice cake for the wedding cake I'm making for Friday the 13th, my co-worker's wedding. The size worked out well for the party because we still had a few slices left over. The Bride is requesting marshmallow fondant, which I have never done. I've only made butter cream fondant, so I'm excited.

Along with the small wedding cake I'm making for the wedding, there will also be a cupcake tower. this it what it looks like

Yoga

I've been getting pretty bored at the gym the last few months. It's not as great as back home. The 24 hour fitness is smaller, but they have daycare and that's why I choose to go there. Recently I discovered something amazing.. Yoga. Before I started going on a regular basis I thought Yoga was pretty lame. I really didn't understand how it was a workout at all.. it just looks like a bunch of stretching and meditating. I'd rather do something that made me drip sweat and feel dehydrated after 45 minutes. Well, I was wrong. It is a work out, and it is a good work out. The first two times I tried it, I ended up sore for a week! My whole upper back muscles, thighs and abs were so sore! After only a month and a half of going on a regular basis I've noticed I'm already way more flexible, and my posture is a lot better. Surprisingly, I sleep better at night time, and my all over health has improved, even my digestion.

So this is my my routine, I work out for 45-minutes to an hour then I do a 1 hour yoga class twice a week. Then I still go for a run as often as I can (if it's not raining, or I don't already have a workout planned for the day) . I've been doing this routine for the last 2 months and I really am enjoying it.

My tips about yoga

1. Buy your own freakin' mat. I bought a bright pink one. The ones the gym usually has sucks. They're thick and foam, they slip and are hard to balance on

2. If your working out before yoga, bring a pair of flip flops. Because it's gross putting back on your sweaty socks and Nikes after yoga..

3. wear form fitting clothing, and no hoochie-mama shorts. With all the weird upside down things they have you doing, you don't want to topple over because you're trying to adjust your shirt so you don't flash anyone. Don't be giving anyone a free show now.

4. if you think you're far enough away from the person next to you. Give it another inch anyways. Recently I totally slapped someone in the face with my stinky un-manicured foot, and it did not go down well.

I'm still learning more about yoga, I don't know how to pronounce most of the things we do, and I can't do everything just yet.. but I'm getting there.

I'm baaaaccckk

Sorry for my leave of absence but in the last few months with all the holidays, vacationing, and the army doing it's same ol' thing I haven't had a lot of time to write. My bad, bloggy, my bad. But I'm back now! So don't be so sad. I promise I'll fix your layout too, since the old one seemed to have disappeared.

What have I been up to? Well, a lot.. picked up a few more hours at work to glide comfortably through the holidays and to make up for a 1 month trip I took to California with my daughter. I was able to visit with all my friends and family, meanwhile the Army kidnapped my husband and took him to the desert to get dirty. I had a very chill visit back in Cali, but after it was over I was delighted to be back on my WARM tropical island and back into flip flops.

and just a few days ago I TURNED 24!! wooo hooo!!! I hated being 23. All that went through my mind on my 23rd birthday was this part of that blink 182 song that goes "no body likes you when you're twenty-three!!". It was very depressing. Oh, and did you know that 23 is my bad luck number? (no offense MJ).. the #23 is also the number of the grossest sandwich at Togo's SALAMI! yuck.

But now I'm 24! which is my favorite number! so this year feels very promising.. and by the way 24 is the number of my favorite sandwich at Togo's.. the turkey avocado. :)

For my birthday I was going to get an iPad but with this island being small and everything needing to be shipped here, they were all out of the one I wanted. So instead I went on a much needed shopping spree down town and had lunch at PF Chengs in Waikiki with my husband and daughter. This was a very big deal because my husband absolutely loathes nothing more than shopping. He'd rather be poked in the eye than go shopping, but because it was my birthday and he loves me, he endured this very painful experience for me. I'd have to say that other than spending the day with the two most important people in my life, the total highlight of my day was when my husband took me to Godiva and bought me this...

Godiva hand dipped chocolate covered strawberries made fresh daily. *drool* my absolute favorite treat. A treat so sacred (not to mention kind of pricey) that I only indulged in on occasion. I didn't even know we had a Godiva on island, so this was my first one in almost 3 years! I usually only get one and I have to carefully choose between white chocolate, dark chocolate and milk chocolate.. but not this time. I got ALL 3! White chocolate is my new favorite, I ate them slowly savoring every morsel. I felt bad for my husband eyeballing my treat so I actually decided to give him my milk chocolate strawberry. Thank goodness my baby was asleep in her stroller because I was so not willing to share with her with the risk of her not liking it and flinging it into some stranger's coffee cup. When I reached the bottom of my little paper cone I realized SUPRISE! there's a baby white chocolate one left! and I thought "wow, it really must be my birthday" :).

I don't know why..

Around the holidays I eat horribly! Usually I don't crave goodies like cookies and fatty foods, but when winter time comes around I can't keep my hands off it! It's so bad. Looks like I need to do couch to 5k again to make it through the New Years. Sometimes I miss being pregnant and getting to indulge more often without feeling guilty about it!

Here is my current enemy.

darn you Starbucks for your delicious peppermint white mocha latte!!!! It doesn't matter that I get you in non-fat and light whip, because I'm practically buying you every time I leave the house! I'm too weak to deny myself your pepperminty-sweet-yumminess...

Gobble Gobble

Thanksgiving is coming around the corner and we're hosting dinner at our house for the first time. I've cooked a turkey before but never hosted at my own house (my friends have alway had me lug it over to their place). This year Matt's required to invite all the single soldiers over to our home for the holidays, so no soldier has to spend the holidays in the barracks. A few of my friends and their families are coming too, so hopefully there will be a good turn out. I'm really hoping only to have to make a turkey because my refrigerator is small and I only have one oven, so fingers crossed that no one has to flake :)

this is exactly how I cook a turkey. I seriously love Alton Brown and his show "Good Eats", he's like the Bill Nye the Science guy of food.

Halloween

Halloween.. Halloween... I have never really appreciated you much.

My husband is a Halloween fanatic. He totally goes hog wild for Halloween. I'll never understand what is really that great about this holiday, but I decided to put a full effort into trying to embrace it this year.

We went to the pumpkin patch the weekend before Halloween. Madison loved every second of it. It was a such a beautiful day. Madison really got a kick out of the small petting zoo they had at Aloun Farms. Her favorite part was the bunnies and the chicken. I was so surprised that the chickens let me pet them. I grew up in Elverta and I always thought chickens were, well... chicken, and usually scared of people, but not these chickens.

When we went into the actual patch of pumpkins, though dry, there was actually a great selection to choose from. Madison squirmed out of our arms and ran for the pumpkins, then decided she wanted to sit on as many of them as possible. Don't ask me why, but I think she thought they made great seats. After I picked my pumpkin I mostly had fun picture taking and chasing Madison through the pumpkin patch, while Matt was on the hunt for the perfect pumpkin. During Madison's mission to sit on every pumpkin, she missed a pumpkin and sat in a patch of thistles and Matt had to pick them out of her butt, it was the funniest thing ever. At that point I gave up on trying to keep her clean and let her get as dirty as she wanted. There was a lot of Hawaiian red dirt at that farm and it was windy, so it was all over everyone. They even had a "slippah" washing station near the stands where you pay for the pumpkins for all us flip flop wearing people who came that day.

We had also planned to go to the haunted plantation which is a big attraction to Oahu during Halloween, along with the haunted lagoons. Sadly, that didn't happen because I came down with a horrible case of bronchitis. Even though I felt awful I decided to just tough it out because I was determined to enjoy this Holiday for Matt and Madison's sake.

We carved pumpkins. Matt was so excited to carve his pumpkin that he actually cheated and got a head start on his pumpkin while I was sleeping in/recovering from my bronchitis the morning before Halloween. His punishment was to help Madison with her pumpkin while I caught up carving mine. Madison was not digging the pumpkin carving experience. She was completely grossed out by the pumpkin guts and cried when we tried to encourage her to put her hand inside. I think she preferred to watch Matt do most of the work. I have a feeling she likes pumpkins better as seats than as jack-o-lanterns.

Finally the day we all anticipated came. Halloween. I woke up feeling like death, Bronchitis still hitting me hard but I didn't care. Matt was excited and it had Madison wired. We had to run a few errands before the trick-or-treaters came so Matt threw Madison's sheep costume on and we went to the store. When we got back we only had about an hour to get ready for the kids to start ringing our doorbell. I threw on my costume (my first one in years) while giddy Matt put on his terrifying costume and added a few finishing touches on the house. Madison was absolutely horrified by Matt's costume, which had me all flustered. She would not let go of my legs when she first saw him. I could hardly walk anywhere. She was pretty much hysterical, and I was irritated, but I let Matt have his fun regardless of my screaming sheep. I decided to take her trick or treating to get her mind off of Matt's hideous zombie costume, which was not a good idea because it seemed like everyone's dad in the neighborhood had an over the top scary costume on. I think it was a little too overwhelming for Madison because she wouldn't even walk for me. She was too nervous, so I had to get her pink buggy out. I'll admit, a fluffy sheep in a pink car buggy was the most adorable thing I've seen all year, but I was ready to be done with Halloween.

We went down our block collecting candy and letting all the mommies "aww" over Madison's getup. After that we decided to go home and watch some Halloween cartoon specials on Nick Jr, while daddy had fun scaring the crap out of the neighborhood children (and a few of their parents). I'm a good mom, so I made sure to taste test all of Madison's candy before giving her any. It's a risky job, but I decided to make the sacrifice. The rest of the night went smoothly, our pumpkins were only knocked over a few times by kids running away frantically from my zombie husband. Next year I'll know what to expect and make better preparations for Madison.. but for now it's on to much better Holidays, Thanksgiving and Christmas :)

Aloha.

We only have 1 year left in Hawaii before Matt gets new orders for a different duty station. I never really understood why the military likes to move people around so much, you'd think they'd want to save some money and keep everyone in the same place for like.. 5 years at least, but no.

There's so many different options to choose from, to request, or reenlist for.. but we keep tossing back and forth what we should do. We even have the option to request to stay in Hawaii for 1 year longer.

It bothers me so much not knowing exactly what is going to happen next or if we're going to like it. There's so many things to think about like.. Will we be in a foreign country? Will Matt deploy right away? Will he like his new unit? Will this be good for his career? Will Madison like it? Will I be able to find a good job or school to go to? How far from home (California) will we be? Will people want to visit? Will they give us a nice house? I sit in bed awake at night thinking of a million different possibilities, and I know it's so bad to worry about things I cannot control. I keep telling myself that it's in God's hands and that no matter what we'll be okay... but I can't help but feel like I'm a little kid trying to stay up late enough to get a peek at what Santa Claus is going to leave under the tree, and if it's good or not.

Regardless, I will miss Oahu with all my heart. I absolutely love it out here though it feels small at times. I have never had much complaint besides that.