looking for understanding...

Madison seems to be extra temperamental lately. I don't know if it's because she misses her daddy, or if its because she can sense my stress, or both.

I'm having second thoughts on whether or not I want to stay in Hawaii while Matt's gone.

I've been having a taste of what its going to be like raising Madison on my own without a helping hand around the house... and It's been rough. Matt's been working super late hours with no lunch the last couple days because the unit is busy getting ready to deploy. I usually look forward to Matt coming home for lunch or after work so I can have a minute to change the laundry, take a shower... or sit and enjoy the quiet. But here in about a month in a half I wont have that.

On top of the regular stress I will have from being on my own... I'll be worried sick about Matt being in a dangerous foreign country. I'm scared that combination of stress will effect Madison, and that would be no good.

I wonder if it would be better for Matt, Madison, and I if we just went back to California.
1. Madison will have more family to be around instead of just me.
2. I will have the support of more family and friends during such a hard time
3. Matt will worry less about us if we're back home, and not on our own.

I love Hawaii... and I'll be sad to leave. I hate the thought of going back to Antelope... but I'm just trying to make the best decision for my family.