Restart

So, Remember way back when I started the couch to 5k?
it was a couple months ago. and No, I didn't finish it, I got about 3/4 done with the entire program before I gave up. What had happened was I had reached my prepregnancy goal which was 145lbs, then things came up like vacation, and rain and so on... I just wasn't motivated anymore.

So Madison is 9months old now and I'm actually down to 137. Which is awesome, but what isn't awesome is that I don't FEEL in shape, and I don't feel like I have a lot of energy, and I haven't worked out in 2 months.

So today I decided I would get off my butt and instead of taking Madison on a walk in her pink car buggy thing, I would bust out my old friend the jogging stroller.

It didn't go so well. I went from being able to run 3.5 miles straight in about 25 minutes to making it only a few blocks and wheezing for air. WHAT HAPPENED!?

Thus I need a new plan of action, and a new goal.. one that I wont get too bored of like couch to 5k.

I'm going to sign up for a class once a week to take at the gym
I'm going to work out a minimum of 3 times a week.
and my new goal is to tone up and get down to 131lbs, which brings me to a very healthy BMI of 20.5

I'm going to give myself until October 1st, wish me luck!

workin' it.

I went back to my old job at the Inn to talk to the manger about going back to work
As much as I like staying at home, I do miss the extra $$$ and it can be quite boring at times.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to wait 3 more months until Madison is at least 1 year old.

I need to find a good daycare provider or babysitter to watch her for a few hours about 4 days a week.

Secondly I need a mode of transportation.
The army only pays to ship one vehicle overseas during a PCS (permanent change of station) and when Matt was about to deploy to Iraq we sold our jeep. A week before his deployment date his orders got cancelled, and now we were down to 1 car. We wanted to buy another car but we don't want to go through the trouble of buying an selling it again to avoiding paying $3000+ to ship it wherever we end up next (which is only a year away).

Matt was really close to buying this motorcycle today (Motorcycles don't ship through the army like cars do, they ship them with your household goods for free) but after looking at how much insurance would cost we decided that it didn't seem that great of an investment.

So.... what's a girl to do?

well, since I only work a few blocks away, I'm thinkin' I might have to invest in one of this babies

I may even decide to rock one of these guys on the back.

Dorky, huh?
Well I just may be able to pull it off and people will think I'm all for saving the environment when really I'm just cheap. Haha!

Well I still have 3 more months of being a stay at home mom, I may keep my eyes open for a good deal on a used car. We'll see.

9month old and Paint = messy father's day gift

Matt's getting the new iphone which counts as his father's day gift.

but that doesn't come out til the 24th so in the mean time Madison made daddy a little something to have the day of..

Since this is Matt's first father's day i thought it would be a cute idea to make him a keepsake box to keep all the cards and little gifts Madison will be making him over the years.

I decorated the top of with paper letters and one of my favorite pictures of the two of them, then I let Madison do the sides of the box.

I bought some non toxic finger paints and took her into the bathroom. It got a little crazy, that's for sure. the both of us were covered in paint.. as well as my bathroom mat and tub... but it was well worth it.

surprisingly it wasn't that difficult to get her to paint on the box at all. In fact she did most of this herself, but when she had finished with the box, it was hard to get her not to paint the tub and eat her fingers. Thank goodness for non toxic completely washable crayola paint.

and tada!! :)

random

sometimes i get in these weird moods where I have to remind myself that the whole world isnt out to get me.

I hate it.

"My diaper is full.. full of shiek"

So Matt and I were watching tv together when the new Huggies diaper commercial came on advertising the new limited edition denim diapers.

We couldn't believe what we were looking at, we were laughing so hard.



Later that day Madison decided to crawl up the stairs for the first time when I was upstairs grabbing a hairband. So we needed to get her a baby gate.

When we went to the store to grab the baby gate, what did we see?

IT WAS TRUE!, THEY ARE REAL!

denim diapers, we couldn't resist (and they were the same price as regular) so we grabbed a pack.

Now madison can cruise the house in style on those hot days.

Home

Missin' home a lot lately. Not 100% sure why...Being out here can feel so bittersweet. I love Oahu but this island feels so small sometimes...going to the beach gets old...I think I just miss some of my home town friends at the moment.

Dancin' in moon light..I know you are free

It's coming close to that time of year again. Not a day goes by that she doesn't cross my mind. If you know me you've probably heard me mention my mother. It's usually a funny story. A lot of the time I leave out that she's passed away because it's a bad way to end a funny story. Or I feel awkward telling people because it might follow with "How'd she die?", and depending on the day it's hard to not to tear up when I tell people what happened. I won't share what exactly happened in this blog because the purpose of this particular blog is just to get a few things off my chest.

Sometimes I'll see someone who looks just like her and my heart feels like it's going to burst out of my chest with excitement. I smile every time I meet someone who acts just like her, or someone I know she'd absolutely love to meet. Other times important milestones happen in my life that I wish so badly she could be there for... Like my wedding, or the birth of my daughter. I dream about her every once in a while, and when I do it's like she never left us, or other times she's just visiting and she lays down in bed with me and we just talk and snuggle like old times. When I wake up it takes me a few seconds to realize it was just a dream, and I feel like I have to cope with her passing away all over again.

Madison's birth was especially hard for me without her. My mom was a lot like me in the sense that in her free time all she thought about was random things that did not matter at the time. Example: She constantly was talking to me about my future, and I'm not just talking about "What do you want to be when you grow up Coralyn?", I'm talking-every little detail down to "What color eyes do you want your baby to have?". She was Filipino and had spoke English fluently, but had bit of an accent. She used to tell me, "If you want blue eye baby.. find nice tall white man to marry, with blonde hair. Your daddy have blue eyes, but you did not get them, but since you are half now, your baby get blue eyes possibly". I asked her "Ma, what if my baby has brown eyes?", "Oh" she said "Still good. brown eyes are beautiful. You have very pretty eyes". Once, she even got into an argument with my dad when I was around 15 about my future children. Something about how often I would bring them by, and if my dad would help her. Regardless of who won the argument, she came up to me randomly in the kitchen and told me "You bring your babies here to me, I will watch them all the time. I will help you". I don't remember what I said back, but it was probably along the lines of "Mooooooooooomm, go away, I'm 15!"..

The first time I held Madison in my arms I began crying instantly. Not just because she was so beautiful and she was mine.. but because I loved her so much already, I thought "This must have been how much my mom loved me."

I know that she's in a better place now.. but I would have done anything to see the look on my mom's face holding Madison for the first time. I'll never get that. She was always making a big deal out of all my seemingly small accomplishments, if she would have seen Madison she would have done a back flip, I'm sure of it.

Sometimes when I'm sitting on the living room floor adoring Madison and every little thing she does, I feel like my mom is right over my shoulder with us enjoying every moment as well. I want to say outloud "Ma, did you see that!? did you see what she just did!?". Sometimes I speak to her in hopes she can hear me. Usually it's an apology, or "You were so right about that." but most of the time it's just "I miss you, Ma.. and I love you."